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The Special Gifts I Threw Away
As a survivor of abuse, Eirik Rogers spent many years suspicious of the kindness of others. –It happened at my junior high school’s weekend Spring Recital. The event was a series of student solo...
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Men Are Victims Too: Recognizing and Dealing With Abuse
Abuse comes in many forms. Especially abuse that men often don’t recognize.___Many men have selective memories.Most men, like myself, are unaware that they are, or have been, abused. Many men have...
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“I Just Need to Tell Someone”
Making space for men to talk about sexual abuse–––As we’re winding down April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I can’t help but think of the many inspiring messages we receive over the course of the...
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Carrying the Weight
Learning to let go to find healing––– “Hope you’re well. I’m having some anxiety this morning so I thought I’d reach out to a friend. No specific questions – just looking for some support I guess.”I...
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We Lost a Warrior for Survivors
“The beauty of survivors is their capacity to show empathy and sympathy as they heal in a safe holistically sustainable group of mentors/family. They are our treasures.” – Alexander Villarreal–––I...
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Confronting Stigma and Stereotypes Around the World
Helping men heal–––Although I and my colleagues Gary Foster from Living Well, in Australia and Rick Goodwin, from 1in6 Canada have together logged more than half a century working to help men heal...
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It Happens to Boys
Creating safe places to talk about childhood sexual abuse–––Speaking about sexual abuse is not a popular subject matter: some people cringe when I ask if we can speak to their organization.A group of...
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Don’t Forgive!
When You’re Hurt, Feel It!–––Aren’t we survivors constantly bombarded with the suggestion (or demand), “You need to forgive”? Don’t we hear that message proclaimed among therapists, preachers,...
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6 Things Men Can Do After They Discover They Are in an Abusive Relationship
Men are often the victims in abusive relationships. Jordan Kozey explains what to do when you get out.___This article is a follow up to my previous piece, dubbed Men Are Victims Too: Recognizing and...
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Speaking Truth to Shame
View image | gettyimages.comMen Choosing to Suffer in Silence No Longer–––“…I guess, start at the beginning…” That’s how the recently-premiered Bristlecone video starts, and what a moving and powerful...
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Men Need Partners in Healing
Embed from Getty ImagesThey need to believe life will improve. –––My wife, Shonna Milliken Humphrey, has been an intimate witness to my struggle with the legacy of my childhood sexual abuse, and a...
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Rideshare Confessional: When a Man Yells at a Woman
Last night I got a call to pick up a young woman around 2:00 a.m. When I arrived, she was saying goodbye to a very good looking young man, who waved and greeted me with the friendliest smile ever. Of...
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Man Alive! Heal From an Abusive Past
— It’s hard enough to navigate life’s challenges when you received a strong foundation of love and care growing up. When you didn’t receive that, everything from ordinary situations to stressful...
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Gay Man Forgives Family For Traumatic Childhood
Abandoned by his parents and raised by a resentful grandmother, Luis didn’t have an ideal childhood. When he began to realize that he was gay, he felt even more isolated. While he was eventually able...
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Forgiveness Does Work
How can good people assist decent men to become active fathers? I’ve come to see that forgiveness, getting to know myself, and freeing myself is a great start. I encouraged my twenty-two-year-old son,...
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Perpetuating Victimization
I spent seven years in an abusive marriage. I remember the day it escalated to the point where I realized I could not stay. I had gotten an angry threatening text from him while at work and I knew I...
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Emotional Abuse Recovery — How Long Is a Piece of String?
Have you found yourself asking for what seems like the hundredth time; when am I going to get over this toxic relationship? Emotionally abusive relationships are very hard to get over and often take...
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Five Things to Say When Someone Is Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Even is the intent is to be kind, some questions and comments can make the target feel like they are not believed or understood. If we want to be supportive, what, then, do folks really want to hear?...
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Purpose, Meaning and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
The final of our six core needs (as mentioned in the first post in this series), is the need for purpose, meaning and transcendence. In The Myth of Normal, Gabor Maté defines this as “knowing oneself...
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Empowering the Female Collective: Reclaiming Self-Worth from Abusive...
By Deborah Holmen, M.Ed., NBCT Photo by Abo Ngalonkulu on Unsplash Throughout history, women have faced the challenge of learning their self-worth, often through the crucible of abusive...
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